I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
