Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
