he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
