Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
