I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
