No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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