In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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