I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just googled if crying burns calories
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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