That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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