she looked like the before picture.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
