I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
