..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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