I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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