Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize