she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
