Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
