Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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