Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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