Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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