It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
