Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
