People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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