He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
