Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
