i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
