I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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