Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
