okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
