I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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