I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
