i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
