Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's the barista slut.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
