2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
