first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Everything about him screamed your future.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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