so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
