Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
