Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
