This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
