508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
