Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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