dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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