why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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