We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
no you cant smoke seaweed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
