So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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