Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
