I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
