why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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