After last night, I could never be a politician.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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