Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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