"it" just moved
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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